Domestic Abuse (A Community Guide)

Domestic abuse is not just physical violence. Under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 — the main law
governing domestic abuse in England and Wales — it covers a wide range of harmful behaviour between people who are
personally connected.

The law recognises domestic abuse where both people are aged 16 or over, they are personally connected, and one person’s
behaviour towards the other is abusive. Crucially, a single incident can be domestic abuse — it does not need to be a
pattern of repeated violence.

What counts as ‘personally connected’?

You are personally connected to someone if you are, or have been: married or in a civil partnership; engaged to be
married; in an intimate relationship — whether you live together or not; parents of the same child; or relatives. You do
not need to live together. Abuse after a relationship ends is still domestic abuse.

Types of abusive behaviour

Physical abuse: Hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, choking, restraining, or stopping you getting
medical care.

Sexual abuse: Rape, sexual assault, coercion, or controlling your reproductive choices.

Emotional and psychological abuse: Constant put-downs, humiliation, gaslighting, threats, and making
you feel worthless.

Controlling behaviour: Deciding what you wear, who you see, where you go, or monitoring your every
move.

Coercive behaviour: Using threats and fear to control what you do, including immigration threats or
threats about children.

Economic abuse: Taking your money, stopping you working, running up debts in your name, or controlling
access to bank accounts or benefits.

Tech abuse: Tracking your phone, reading your messages, spyware, controlling passwords or accounts, or
image-based abuse.

Honour-based abuse: Abuse linked to family or community pressure, perceived dishonour, or control
through ‘honour’ threats.

IMPORTANT TO KNOW

• You do not need physical injuries for it to be domestic abuse.
• Coercive control — using fear and manipulation to control you — is a criminal offence under the Serious Crime
  Act 2015, carrying up to five years in prison.
• There is no minimum number of times abuse has to happen.

2.  You Are Not Alone

In the year ending March 2025, an estimated 3.8 million people in England and Wales experienced domestic abuse. Around 1
in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience it at some point in their lives. Domestic abuse happens across all
backgrounds, incomes, professions, religions and relationships.

“Whatever has happened, whatever you have been told, the abuse is not your fault. You deserve to be safe.”

Common myths — and the truth

Myth: ‘It only happens to certain types of people.’  Truth: Domestic abuse
happens across all backgrounds, incomes, professions and relationships.

Myth: ‘It’s only abuse if you are hit.’  Truth: Most domestic abuse does not
involve physical violence. Coercive control, economic abuse and threats are all forms of abuse.

Myth: ‘If it were really that bad, they would leave.’  Truth: Leaving is
often the most dangerous time. People stay for many reasons: fear, finances, children, immigration status or lack of
safe options.

Myth: ‘Domestic abuse only happens to women.’  Truth: Domestic abuse affects
people of all genders. Men and LGBTQ+ people are also victims.

Myth: ‘Alcohol causes domestic abuse.’  Truth: Alcohol does not cause
domestic abuse. The cause is the abuser’s choice to use power and control over another person.

3.  Recognising Abuse

Abuse often starts gradually and gets worse over time. It can be hard to recognise, especially when the person causing
harm is someone you love or depend on. Here are some warning signs:

• You feel afraid of your partner’s moods or reactions.
• Your partner constantly criticises you or makes you feel worthless.
• You change your behaviour to avoid upsetting your partner.
• Your partner controls who you see, where you go, or what you wear.
• Your partner monitors your phone, email or social media.
• You are not allowed to have your own money or access to a bank account.
• Your partner threatens you, your children, your family or your pets.
• Your partner threatens to report you to immigration authorities.
• You have been physically hurt, or are afraid you will be.
• You feel isolated from friends and family.

Coercive control

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour where your partner uses tactics to scare, isolate and control you. It does
not always involve physical violence. It includes monitoring your movements, cutting you off from friends and family,
making you feel worthless, and threatening to take the children or report you to immigration.

Coercive control is a criminal offence in England and Wales under the Serious Crime Act 2015. The
perpetrator can face up to five years in prison. You do not have to prove physical violence — the pattern of controlling
behaviour is itself the offence.

You do not need to be certain it is ‘bad enough’ to ask for help. If something feels wrong, it is worth talking to
someone.

4.  Children and Domestic Abuse

Under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, a child who sees, hears or experiences the effects of domestic abuse is recognised as
a victim in their own right — even if they were never directly hurt. This means you do not need to show a child was
physically harmed.

Children often know something is wrong even if they do not say so. They may blame themselves. It can help to reassure
them that it is not their fault and that there are people whose job it is to help keep families safe.

If you are worried about your children’s safety

• Call the police (999 in an emergency; 101 for non-emergencies).
• Contact your local authority children’s services — they have a duty to investigate concerns about children’s
  welfare.
• Call the NSPCC helpline: 0808 800 5000 (free, 24 hours).
• Contact a domestic abuse helpline for advice on next steps.

Being in an abusive relationship does not automatically mean your children will be taken away. Social services’ primary
aim is to keep families safe, not to separate them. A domestic abuse service or solicitor can advise you before you take
any steps.

5.  Your Legal Protections

There are a number of legal tools available to protect you. You do not need to have reported the abuse to the police to
apply for most of them.

Non-molestation order

A court order prohibiting the abusive person from harassing, threatening or contacting you. Available urgently from the
Family Court, sometimes on the same day. Breaching it is a criminal offence.

Occupation order

Can require the abuser to leave the family home, even if they own or rent the property.

Clare’s Law — your right to know

Under the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (Clare’s Law), you have a legal right to ask the police whether your
current or former partner has a history of domestic abuse or violent offending. Since the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 this
is a legal right — not a discretionary policy. Contact your local police force to use it.

Domestic Abuse Protection Orders (DAPOs)

A newer, flexible court order introduced by the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 that can include positive requirements such as
behaviour-change programmes. As at June 2026, DAPOs are available in pilot areas only (Greater Manchester, parts of
London, Cleveland and North Wales). In other areas, non-molestation orders, occupation orders and existing emergency
police powers remain available.

IN AN EMERGENCY

• Call 999.
• If you cannot speak: dial 999 and press 55 when prompted.
• Text 999 — you need to register first at emergencySMS.net

6.  If You Are a Migrant or on a Visa

If you are in the UK on a visa that depends on a partner who is abusing you, you are not trapped. There are specific
legal protections available to you.

Your abuser cannot use your immigration status against you

Threatening to report you to immigration authorities, withholding your documents, or using your visa status to control
you is itself a form of abuse. If this is happening to you, please speak to a solicitor or domestic abuse organisation
as soon as you can.

Migrant Victims of Domestic Abuse Concession (MVDAC)

An emergency scheme providing three months of independent immigration status and potential access to public funds, so
you can leave safely and make arrangements. The scheme has recently been expanded and is now available to partners of
those on work and student visas (from February 2024). A solicitor can advise you on whether you qualify.

Settlement as a victim of domestic abuse (Appendix VDA)

If your relationship has broken down permanently because of domestic abuse, you may be able to apply for settlement —
indefinite leave to remain in the UK. This is available to people who held certain partner visas. A specialist
immigration solicitor can advise you on whether you qualify.

IMPORTANT TO KNOW

• Your immigration status does not reduce your right to protection from domestic abuse.
• If you report to the police, they do not routinely share your details with immigration enforcement.
• Morgan Hill Solicitors can advise you confidentially on your immigration rights.

WHERE TO GET HELP

• National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247 (free, 24/7)
• Southall Black Sisters (Black, Asian and minoritised women): 020 8571 0800
• Karma Nirvana (honour-based abuse and forced marriage): 0800 5999 247
• Forced Marriage Unit (government): 020 7008 0151

7.  Evidence — What is and Isn’t Needed

“I have no proof.”  This is one of the most common worries. There is no single document you must produce. Any
of the following can be relevant — you do not need all of them, or even most of them:

• Your own written account, in your own words.
• Text messages, emails, voicemails or social media messages from the abuser.
• Photographs of injuries or damage to property.
• A letter from your GP or medical records.
• A letter from a domestic abuse service, refuge or Independent Domestic Violence Adviser (IDVA).
• Police records or crime reference numbers — even if no arrest was made.
• Bank records showing financial control.
• A letter from a trusted friend, family member or community figure.

What is not required

You do not need a police report, a criminal conviction, medical evidence of physical injury, a perfect and consistent
timeline, or witnesses. Your own account carries significant weight.

Abusers often deliberately prevent victims from collecting evidence — no bank account, no phone, no freedom to see a
doctor. Decision-makers are expected to take this into account. If you lacked access to your phone, bank account or
freedom to see a doctor, explain why — this context matters.

8.  Your Safety Plan

Leaving an abusive relationship can be the most dangerous time. If possible, please speak to a domestic abuse service
before you leave — they can help you plan safely. Call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

If you are still in the relationship

1. Identify the safest room in your home — ideally one with an exit and away from the kitchen.
2. Memorise important phone numbers and keep a phone charged and accessible.
3. Use a safe email address or phone your abuser cannot access to communicate with services.
4. Have a trusted person you can call or go to.
5. Keep a log of incidents somewhere safe if you are able to.

If you are planning to leave

6. Call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) for safe planning advice.
7. Try to have a bag ready with: passport or ID, children’s documents, medication, money, phone charger and
   clothes.
8. Open a separate bank account at a bank your abuser does not know about.
9. Know where your nearest refuge is — call the helpline to find one.
10. Consider applying for a non-molestation order before or after you leave.

After you have left

11. Tell only trusted people where you are.
12. Change all passwords for email, social media and banking.
13. Check your phone and devices for tracking apps or shared accounts.
14. Keep a log of any continued harassment, threats or contact.

9.  Free Helplines and Support

All services below are free and confidential. You do not need to be a client of any solicitor to use them.

Emergency

• Police — emergency: 999
• Police — non-emergency: 101
• Silent 999: dial 999 and press 55 when prompted
• Text 999: register first at emergencySMS.net

Domestic abuse helplines

• National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge) — free, 24/7: 0808 2000 247
• Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327
• Galop (LGBTQ+ domestic abuse): 0800 999 5428
• Women’s Aid: womensaid.org.uk
• SafeLives (risk assessment resources): safelives.org.uk

Specialist communities

• Southall Black Sisters (Black, Asian and minoritised women): 020 8571 0800
• Karma Nirvana (honour-based abuse and forced marriage): 0800 5999 247
• Forced Marriage Unit (government): 020 7008 0151
• Imkaan (specialist support for minoritised women): imkaan.org.uk

Children

• NSPCC child protection helpline: 0808 800 5000
• Childline: 0800 1111

Legal

• Morgan Hill Solicitors (immigration, family, domestic abuse): morganhill-solicitors.co.uk
• Rights of Women (free legal advice for women): 020 7251 6577 — rightsofwomen.org.uk
• Citizens Advice: 0800 144 8848 — citizensadvice.org.uk
• Legal aid eligibility checker: gov.uk/check-legal-aid
• Law Society — find a solicitor: solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk

10.  Frequently Asked Questions

Is it still domestic abuse if I was never physically hit?

Yes. Domestic abuse includes emotional abuse, coercive control, economic abuse, sexual abuse and threatening behaviour.
You do not need physical injuries for it to be abuse — or to get legal protection.

My partner says if I leave, they will take the children. What can I do?

Threatening to take children to control you is a form of coercive abuse. Please speak to a family solicitor — urgent
court orders can be made where a child is at risk. This threat alone does not mean your children will be taken.

I am on a visa that depends on my partner. What happens to my immigration status if I leave?

You may be able to apply for the Migrant Victims of Domestic Abuse Concession (MVDAC), giving you three months of
independent immigration status and potential access to public funds. If you had a qualifying partner visa, you may be
able to apply for settlement. Morgan Hill Solicitors can advise you confidentially.

Will I get in trouble for not reporting the abuse sooner?

No. There is no obligation to report domestic abuse. Trauma, fear, financial dependence and many other factors make it
hard to report. Support services and legal processes exist to help you, not to question why you did or did not report
earlier.

My partner has threatened to contact immigration enforcement if I call the police. Should I still call?

The police do not routinely share victims’ details with immigration enforcement. You are entitled to police protection
regardless of your immigration status. A domestic abuse organisation or solicitor can advise you before you contact the
police if you are worried.

I have left but my partner keeps contacting me. What can I do?

You can apply for a non-molestation order — a court order prohibiting your ex-partner from contacting or harassing you.
Breaching it is a criminal offence. A solicitor or domestic abuse helpline can help you apply.

Can I get legal aid to pay for a solicitor?

Legal aid may be available if you have experienced domestic abuse and meet financial eligibility requirements. A
solicitor can advise you on this. You can also check your eligibility at gov.uk/check-legal-aid.